Two Issues: Bored and Broke

My friend told me I should write a column, "You're like a female Dave Barry," he said. Of course, I have no idea who the hell that is.

"No," I said, "people might get the wrong idea about me."

He said that people have already figured me out. But I told him he thinks he has everyone figured out (because he's one of "those" kind of people). And I explained that I have two issues: I'm bored and I'm broke.

Then he said I need a good screw.

"Truly," I told him, "I don't think that's it at all. Well, maybe partly. But what would I do with the other 23 hours and 59 minutes of my day? I'd still be bored."