Yep, Thought of That!

Everyone thinks they’ve got a totally unique and awesome new idea for my job search. Have you tried this or have you tried that? What about this or what about that? Let me assure you, I’ve more than thought about it. I’ve applied for it. Contrary to popular belief I am thinking outside the box. I’ve applied to Macy’s and Nordstrom over the holidays, ad agencies, financial (blech) companies and insurance companies (blech, blech), environmental agencies, non-profits, fitness centers, retail giants, colleges, architecture and engineering firms, “company confidential,” and I’m on file with no less than seven staffing agencies plus a couple independents. I filled in as a receptionist for a day at a friend’s company. I’ve accepted cash for babysitting!! Now how's THAT for humiliating?!

And the types of jobs I’m applying for? Project/account manager, marketing fulfillment project manager, creative service specialist, executive assistant, director project management office, senior project manager, executive administrative assistant, brand manager, customer brand marketing manager, assistant brand manager, brand specialist, retail sales, marketing coordinator, project administrator, creative PM, creative services manager, channel marketing coordinator, product manager, specialist II marketing communications, editorial director. Not even kidding, the list goes on and on.

A friend of mine said, “What about retail management?”

What about it? Of course I’ve thought about it. But what makes you think out of all the 250 other applicants that I, the one with no retail management experience, would be the one to get hired. Zero retail management experience. Totally stupid idea. But thanks for playing.

Have I thought about applying at Target (or Cub)? Yes. And I know I’d be better than the young, brain dead (or old brain dead) cashiers that currently work there. “Did you find everything OK?” She asks.

“No, I couldn’t find the Dixie cup refills.”

Without any regard for what I had just said, she continues to ring me up. NO. I said I did NOT find what I was LOOKING for. But whatever. I scan my credit card and leave, knowing full well that I’d be a much better cashier and I’d provide much better customer service than Miss Teen-Something-Or-Other. Plus I have previous experience.

I remember years ago working in a mall at a women’s clothing store. It gave me more satisfaction to provide directions to the restroom than it did to sell an outfit and multiple accessories to someone. When you provide directions to the restroom, you’re really and truly helping someone out – you’re providing customer service. When you sell multiple items to someone, you’re helping yourself out by increasing your commission.

Cashier positions (at least at Caribou) pay $7.50 to $8.50 an hour. Really? Yes, really. I know because I’ve applied to Caribou and I asked what the salary was. Who can live on $8.50 an hour? At 40 hours a week, that’s only about $1360 a month – little more than a rental payment. I mean you probably get free mochas, but still.

Thank you, thank you my friends for your suggestions. I really do appreciate them (really I do). But please know that as I sit on my ass all day collecting my unemployment, I am thinking outside the box.