The Naked Interview

So I'm looking for a job, right? And I haven't had much luck. I will even go so far as to say my search has become desperate these past few weeks. I'm applying for this job and that job. I'm over qualified. I'm under qualified. I'm even applying for jobs that I don't want!

In addition to applying online and wondering who grabs the resumes out of cyberspace (if they ever make it out of cyberspace at all), I've also started dropping off resume packets in person in an effort to set myself apart from the droves of other unemployed lame ducks out there. I am following up with contacts time and again, especially for the jobs I want.

Following is an example of my desperation:

After two unreturned phone calls and one returned phone call to the wrong HR contact, I was finally given the name and direct phone number of the recruiter for this really cool position that I really, really want. Jackpot.

So I called her, right? Got her voicemail, which I fully expected so I was prepared with an awesomely clever voicemail message. She returned my call! Unfortunately, I was out for a walk (knew I never should have started this exercising shit). But anyway, I called her back pronto.

Got her voicemail. Seriously? Hadn't she been waiting for my return call? But I managed to pull another fab voicemail message out of my ass. Love being clever! And waited for her to call me back. After about 20 minutes I decided to jump in the tub. I brought the phone in the bathroom with me so in the unlikely event that she'd call right at the same time I was bathing, I could hear it ring. I didn't think she'd call though because my phone usually never rings unless I'm drying my hair. And then it's just imaginary rings.

Sure enough, I had no more than gotten into the tub and laid back to get my hair wet when the phone rang. Again I say to you, seriously? I jumped out of the tub, checked caller ID and of course it was her, so I grabbed a towel and stepped out of the bathroom before I said hello (bathrooms seem to be echoey). She asked me if this was a good time to talk.

Of course I said yes, given our recent game of phone tag. But what I didn't realize was she had planned a complete phone screening interview when I had merely planned to confirm receipt of my resume and possible next steps. My conversation would have likely lasted two minutes. Her conversation lasted 15 minutes. The good news is I feel like I aced the interview.

In my past experiences, being naked has never brought me luck necessarily. However, I feel like this instance may have been different. I do expect a call back. When she calls, my plan is first to confirm on caller ID then strip down to full nakedness and grab a towel.

"Yes, yes Emily, this is a good time to talk!"