Compassion

Really, I am a compassionate person.

But I'm also unemployed at the moment. And struggling to pay my bills. If one more debt consolidation company calls me on the phone or solicits me via junk mail, or if one more non-profit calls me for a donation, I swear I'm gonna blow! And no one will get any of the money I owe or can potentially afford to donate.

Will that make you happy? Well, will it?

I got a call today to donate in support of finding a cure for Children's cancer. Honest to God, I wish there were no cancer for children or for anyone. But I am not kidding when I say I'm charging my groceries on a credit card -- not a debit card -- a credit card. I'm charging my gas and I'm charging anything that's not a monthly bill on a credit card.

Earlier today I got a call from a contractor who wanted to give me an estimate for storm damage (did we recently have a storm that I slept through?) And just now I got an email notification from the Lupus Foundation stating that it especially needs clothing. I happen to have lost weight in the past three months -- I especially need clothing that fits for job interviews.

I wish there were no such thing as deadly diseases, and I wish no one was in desperate need of clothing or food or shelter. I wish no one suffered from physical or emotional abuse. And honest to God, I wish the United States were not in the horrible predicament and financial turmoil that it is currently in. But I cannot, can absolutely not take another solicitation from anyone, any organization, any corporate entity that asks me to help. I am strapped.

Physically, financially, emotionally. I'm strapped. I'm living on a credit card, using unemployment and my tax refund (thank you God) to pay my bills and mustering all the emotional energy I have to apply for any job that represents some sort of hope. Yes, I have a home. No I am not living on the street. But I do not have extra money at the moment. When I do have money (and I've completely forgotten what that feels like), I tithe and I give to charities. I'm a compassionate person.

I seem to be on everyone's call list. Like where the hell did these people get my number? And who said it's OK to solicit me? Isn't there a 'please do not call list' for the unemployed? While I'm receiving unemployment benefits, can't I be on a 'do not call list for the fragile?' I am more than happy to share when I have money. But please, please, until I find a job will you please not solicit me?

That's all I ask.